haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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