I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize