Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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