Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
