remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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