I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
