So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
