That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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