We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
