why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
