that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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