ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
