i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
