you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
