It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
