I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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