at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We got so high we made milksteak
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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