So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
