how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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