I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the condom got lost in my hair
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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