How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
