i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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