whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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