Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
