perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
