Soap is not a condiment
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
