Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
