ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
