I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
