There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
