You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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