we're blogging at a bar
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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