his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
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So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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