Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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