What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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