i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
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just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize