I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize