Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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