One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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