I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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