so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
