I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
