I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
