Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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