We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize