I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize