Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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