I cannot find my penis.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize