Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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