the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
