WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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