New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize