now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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