My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize