we have pet lesbian snakes
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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