Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
