I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......