he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
