i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
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I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!