why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
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Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.