And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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